Im having a hard time here. what should i do? =(?

my thoughts are really messy right now. i have so much things going on in my mind. i juz finish college.. now sitting at home doing nothing. i wan to find a job.. but this aspergers make things really hard for me. i dont really enjoy being in a social situation. i lack social skills. is not that im shy, well..maybe a little.but. i juz dont have the confidence. im short.about 5'2 .and im 21. i look like a kid. and i have acne problem. my heart,my mind is not at ease when i go out in public.. i hate this situation. =( i have friends, but i dont have one that i can REALLY call a friend. i mean..im always on my own. i rather be alone. its not that im anti-social. im juz not comfortable in it. i have trouble communicating. i cant speak well..the words just doesnt flow easily. dats why i dont talk much.i know people will get bored with me. my life is so pive..and dull. i dont know what to do.. how i wish i was never born. im not enjoying my life. ='(