Christmas Blues or Horrors?

I'm recently divorced, my ex-wife is dying of liver cancer, my father has been diagnosed with esophageal cancer, and I just lost my second job; I also owe the IRS, the California Tax Franchise Board, 3 credit card companies, the Dept. of Education, and a host of other creditors. I'm hanging on by my bare white knuckles, and I can't imagine the horror of the holidays fast approaching. The only good thing in my life is my girlfriend of almost one year. She's not aware of the extent to which I'm supporting my ailing ex-wife, and I fear that when my funds totally dry up and catastrophe finally arrives, she'll dump me. I can't see how I can take her out properly; she's not overly materialistic; but she is 13 years my junior and very attractive. I really don't want to live anymore; my current job must be kept but I'm beginning to despise it. Being a teacher in secondary education is the most thankless f***ing job in all of Christendom. I hate everything around me, and I'm even beginning to despise my girlfriend. Sometimes she gripes at what I think are insignificant things; and I wonder how she can in light of so much other misery every else? Anyways, I don't know what to do. I'm afraid, lonely and angry? Any advice?